see,
he is a tangle
in the pit of my exhausted thoughts

black ink
that makes my nights a terror

he is a savior
who saves the storms
that drag me into never ending 
sadness
of a love affair.

i received
with the glow of the moon
a new lullaby

to accompany me in the night

and new pair of eyes
in the leaving
on sunrise
stars

to greet me in the morning

does it mean
you are keeping
your promise
and despite everything
still watch over me
from behind?

believe me, i lie for your sake
lie is not easy
and is not it bad
to fake what's not there
than hiding
the truth
mere symbol of
living
we left overlooked.

leave me alone, i'm sick of the quiet
it's quiet inside
and safe
and so savage is peace
but clasping my hand
on the steel hill of shoulder
yours
i thought you were gone
but look
how both of us
still lingering here.

like ghosts
we're stuck
in reflection
of slowly
rolling
down
our sides
tears
that threaten
us
being forever
lonely
abandoned
without each other's
eyes
and o...

It’s been almost five years since I first discovered freelance as a way of living for myself.

For a long time, I kept definition of freelance and business separate in my mind. When I started out as a newbie in the field of, as I used to define it, independent work from home I had no idea what a complex, demanding, and at times competitive venture it really was. And since usually the word business made me think about a tie and a black leather case, for a long time I was refusing to admit that freelance was also a very special kind of business.

Now, all those years later, freelance and business are some kind of synonyms for me. Because making a living as a freelancer means to be a good tête-à-tête businessman (woman).

Why you? T...

i know
at times he sees me
ice creaks in tiny space
between his sweating pores
not melts
but grows
into the crystals 
white like stones
diamonds
he throws at me
in silence
like sad personification
of ghostly love
that was just banned
by everyone
and killed was
planet nine
in the solar system
right through the center
of our raging hearts.

i did not know
but
i was long lost friend
of my mistakes

mirror of the shadow
that
during nights
moved my hands

i was the home
for rebellious
and sense

lost forgotten
friend
of forever
lurking in past days.

This post is my attempt at journaling online. And it feels different.

Nevertheless, I am willing to try and since I have some things to say, I sincerely hope that this post will be something interesting to read.

Let me begin with quarantine and how this global COVID-19 pandemic affected me. To my own surprise and utter bewilderment, it is not all bad. Scary? Yes! But not bad at all.

Maybe it has something to do with my book that I started writing in the end of September, 2019, which touches on terrifying aspects of immortality and connected to countless outbursts of pandemics throughout the entire history of mankind, but I feel the current situation is no...

hushed by hands
so tight across his face

and halfway down
buried in the pit

he watched like all the eyes
around him

looked away
in silent agony of mirth

and just like water
fell he to the ground
and sunk so deep
into the salt despair

and symphony of life
asked him ' just forgive'
and let me carry you
to other sacred land.

Living a life in isolation does not make you a better Artist!

The power of creative minds is the force that makes the Earth rotate, the Sun rise and the life on our planet evolve. But there are four basic conditions for prosperity of a creative mind that at times may seem reachable only in isolation.

World is a noisy torture.

Most of artists I know admit, that’s how they feel. And so, they search for quiet by isolating themselves from all the things that happen and happen and happen in the outside world. This need for silence at times becomes the only thing that matters and many artists feel this undeniable urge to get away (preferably on the Moon).

Time speeds and life goes into nowhere.

Like water, time tends to sli...

1
He wanted to pay for all the books in the world. But there was nothing in his pocket.
2
You can survive only once. The rest is fighting.
3
I touched the sky and washed my face in thunder. That’s how anyone can win a second chance.
4
We walked in the same river and walked out on the different sides of the shore. Seems like life knows better, indeed!
5
Where can you find kindness? Inside a silk glove and redness of the paint on a nail.
6
Nothing has ever been that close to everything. Hard to say what power pushed the apple in the center of the plate but on the sunrise everything started feeling like an order. Because there was no such word as ‘world’ anymore.
...

if you don't want me deep
then don't be surprised to break against shallow

i breathe no matter what

my antidote
this urge is strong in me
to fight for my survival

and even if not you
not me
not us
and not enough desire

i'll find my way to go
and many other stars
to follow.

through the frozen satin
we began to so savagely scream

but nothing could bring
us relief

thankfully, birds kept to sing

and in struggle
that never was seen

we managed to walk
fall
and shatter the screen

behind which
was the realm
where our mutual dream
wore the dress
of all shades
and colors

so we finally started to live.

Have you ever seen a leafless tree in the middle of Spring? What would you think if you saw one?

Poor tree, it’s probably dying – this is what I would definitely find among a flush of different thoughts in my head at the sight of this picture. I would feel sad seeing it bare and weak standing among the countless green ones around it. I would think, it was unfair.

Here’s what happened to me a few years ago. I moved from a noisy city to a small town framed at both sides by vast fields and woods. Place that I personally believe to be wildlife heaven. It’s the place where a plain crown looks like a fashion model and hedgehogs are enjoying their bust lives on your backyard.

It was Spring and everything around stood in magnif...