Your Decision Means More Than What Others Think Of It
Those are the movers to the best part of living which is action.
Standard formula of making a decision is quite simple: it relies on such mental processes as reason, biases, memories, and emotions.
Your past experience, psychological boundaries, insecurities, and intentions are the gears with which you weight the benefits and costs of this or that decision but those are also the extra weight that can derail you from making a truly right decision for yourself.
Becuse what will others think?
If people could use the mythical ability of ostriches bury their heads in the sand each time they are scared or threatened by what others will think of them, half of the world would get stuck underground.
I have never met a person who at least once in his or her life did not betray themselves by putting enormous weight of what others will think on their final decision.
Many refuse to step out of their comfort zone because the thought of what others will think of them if they suddenly lift their heads in the crowd and oh, god, start doing something for the sake of their own hapiness and prosperity, is terrifying.
When I started making short videos for my twitter page, I found out that I was petrified of what others will think of me (as if I was making a slaughter in front of everyone's eyes,) and most of the time when I tried to express my thoughts and share my message I started stammering and confuse words.
But the scariest and most shocking part about it was to realize how much has been lost and abandoned in our lives because of it.
At the end of the day, does it even matter?
If you make a decision to stay in shadow for the rest of your life because someone might not get or like what you do, is not that you will be the only person suffering here?
Will that person care about your feelings then?
I doubt it.
This game of opinions is just senseless if all it does is discouraging and paralyzing you from making a right decision for yourself.
I have talked about this in my previous blog posts but I do want to repeat it again here.
People rarely take responsibility for how their words or actions affect you – it is your job to shield yourself from the negative impact their words or actions may have on you.
But if to really think about it, at the end of the day does someone’s opinion about you even matter?
Is it worthy of giving up on your dream, life, family?
No, the answer to this questions is always no, it does not matter.
Why what others will think bothers us so much?
As social creatures, we fear to be banished from the society.
We fear to be left behind, judged, out casted.
But we are not part of the jungles anymore and your craving for self-expression, self-development, and personal progress will never be the reason for everyone in this gigantic world with 7.5 billion of people to turn away from you.
To take the chance on survival from you.
Or to leave you to the mercy of the wild animals.
If you really think about it you will see that your mind is turning flies into elephants here with this 'what others will think' attitude.
One little negative comment can so easily overdo hundreds of positive ones in our heads.
For the opinion of one single person we are more than willing to forget about our dreams, throw our ambitions in a trash bin, cut off our own hands and tongues.
Head lost in the fear of being misunderstood and judged, we blindly turn on ourselves.
But it is not okay.
How to think above the plane?
The best way to see the purpose of the beginning is to look into the ending.
Nothing is forever.
And thinking about the end, transporting mentally through time to the point where all there is, is all there was is the key to learning how to think above people’s opinions and judgments of you.
We have to make decisions daily.
What color of shirt to wear for the interview – what to eat for breakfast – what time to go to bed.
Even though those kind of decisions may seem trifle, they are still decisions.
And what about the other kind, the bigger and more serious one, when you have to decide your next step towards your dream, your action, if you should or should not to take a risk and change the job you have been hating so much lately?
If your decision will depend solely on people’s opinion, then you will end up with either a bad (wrong) decision for your life or lack of any decisions at all.
But people’s opinion is a ‘worth’ of just few days and your life is going to last longer than that.
Ten, twenty, fifty years later, all that will matter is that you did not do what you wanted to do or what you knew would be right and impactful for your life.
You will not even remember that you made a wrong decision because of someone’s opinion or what that opinion even was like.
But what you will remember is that you made that wrong decision, that you were inactive towards your life and chose to let the fear take over your life instead of pursing your dreams when you still had health and time and inspiration and that spirit of young self.
Besides, most of the time, while we are fearing of what others will think of us, those others are busy thinking about their precious self and their own problems.
Leave that senseless team of giving a f*ck of what others think of you and join the team where moving forward, achieving, risking and winning are the only things that matter.
Live your life today so you could smile and be proud of what you did when this life will reach its end.