Read This If You Think People Do Not Understand You
From time to time, my mind explodes with this thought.
They do not understand me!—something in me shouts.
And for next few days, I am upset, sad, and angry. All because I feel like they do not understand me.
But what about the other question that so often is dismissed from this equation?
The question is, do you understand yourself?
I bet you have never thought about it but so often you steal from yourself.
You steal time from yourself by giving too much attention to the negative monologues happening in your head.
You steal opportunities from yourself by choosing to crawl back in your shell when something goes slightly off your plan or expectation.
You steal chances from yourself to deeply connect with people around you by judging and having stupid expectations from everyone but yourself.
You steal happiness from yourself by hating and fighting against the world instead of trying to learn it and see what it really is about.
You steal and steal and steal till there is nothing really left.
This is why the worst kind of thief is yourself. Because you will never suspect yourself in your unhappiness.
But change comes from inside, though most of us wish things outside changed first.
Look, this is just not how it works.
When you feel like no one understands you. No one feels your pain. No one cares for what you are so desperate to say. What is your first thought?
It is always about how stupid, heartless, and inhuman those people are, is not it?
You do not want to talk to those people anymore.
Some experience hate when they feel that no one understands them.
Some go farther and start verbally attacking other people because of it.
But what happens in reality is that when you feel like others do not understand you, more likely you do not really understand yourself either.
It is impossible to explain what you really do not understand yourself and this is exactly what most of us try to do.
Then we get upset because it just did not work.
And of course, we almost always blame others in it.
How what you steal from yourself is connected to you being not understood by other people?
What if I tell you that together with stealing so many important things from your life, you also steal the chance for other people to understand you?
This simple at first sight thought is just not how most of us prefer to think but this thought is the starting point to being finally understood.
Here are a few mind tricks by using which you will get a better idea on how to be understood by other people.
Is what you say is what you really mean?
So often, being understood for many means receiving love, care, and compassion from other person.
The main reason why this definition of being understood does not work is because what you expect from other people is for them becoming your mother or farther and this is just not who those people are.
Remember, how many things you daily steal from yourself?
Of course, it makes sense why your soul is starving for such things as love, care, and compassion—after all, there is still a kid living in you.
But by trying to impose wrong social roles on people around you, you steal from yourself the chance to connect and be understood by those people.
Instead, try to see the people around you for who they are.
If it is your colleague, do not impose the role of your friend on this person.
If it is your friend, do not impose the role of your soulmate on him or her.
Give yourself what you want others to give you
Expectations are killing everything!
From now on, try to take better care of yourself by giving in small joys of life.
Do not expect others to make you laugh, make yourself laugh.
This will free you from the burden of expectations and better the quality of your connections with other people.
Make the purpose of your message clear
Quite often, the purpose of what you say is just not clear.
Mind of most of people is loaded with so much information and thoughts that they are simply not able to look for purpose of what you are saying by themselves.
How do people get what you want or mean if all you are doing is pouring water with your words?
Sometimes, it happens because you are shy and do not want to be intrusive but if you want to be understood by other people, you have to get over it and try to open up the curtain with your true thoughts and intentions to the people around you.
From now on, you should help people to understand you instead of demanding from them to read the true meaning of what you are saying between the lines of your words.
Keep the curtain of your true intentions open and you will surely find more understanding from the people around you.