What Perfectionism Really Is About and How to Break Free from It

"I'm just a perfectionist. I want things to be the best they can be."

Doesn’t it sound noble? Responsible? Aristocratic, even? Like you care more than anyone else? Yes, you might be slower than a turtle in a speed race when it comes to execution and actually doing the thing, but hey—it’s not like you’re procrastinating on purpose. It’s because you have high standards and are absolutely above settling for mediocre. And greatness takes time, right?

To this day, it’s a widely believed fable that perfectionism equals high standards and procrastination equals laziness. But let’s be honest, that’s not what this is really about. Perfectionism isn’t a crown on your head—it’s a mask. A mask for fear. And procrastination isn’t an inherent human flaw—it’s the weapon perfectionism uses to keep you stuck.

Perfectionism whispers that if you can’t do something "perfect", you shouldn’t start at all. Maybe it's not the right time. Maybe you're not ready yet. And so procrastination steps in as its loyal guard, holding you back from moving, creating, or even trying.

The truth is, procrastination isn’t laziness—it’s perfectionism’s way of making sure you never risk imperfection.

Perfectionism Isn't What You Think

The word itself tricks us: perfect-ionism. It whispers that it’s all about excellence, about pushing beyond mediocrity. That you’re someone who doesn’t settle, someone who always strives for the highest quality.

But perfectionism isn’t about quality. It’s about fear.

If you really think about it, perfectionists don’t improve—they stall. Why? Because at the core lies the fear of moving, the fear of the natural progression of life: starting something and letting it evolve or being seen in the messy middle.

Perfectionism rejects the idea that things unfold gradually—it wants the end result without the process.

The one thing that I noticed about perfectionists (when I was one of them) is that they lack adaptive skills. Everything from self-worth to ideas in the world of a perfectionist is built on stiffness that snaps the moment life bends them even slightly. It's weakness dressed as responsibility.

The thing about perfectionism is that it lives for validation and never tolerates growth through imperfection.

And so many people lie to themselves about it, clinging to this label of perfectionist like a lifeline: "I’m not procrastinating, I’m just waiting for the perfect time. I’m not scared, I just want to do it properly." But if we strip away the excuse, what’s left is simple—perfectionism is paralysis.

Perfectionism is Fear of Life

Zoom out, and you'll see that perfectionism isn't just the fear of failing. It’s the fear of living. And then here's the part perfectionists feel uncomfortable talking about the most—it's the fear of letting go of illusions.

As long as a perfectionist keeps their ideas or dreams in a "work in progress" folder, they feel safe. Because sharing them with the world can—and most likely will—challenge their sense of self-worth, the value of their story, and the significance of their talents. It can cast doubt on everything they’ve known, imagined, or hoped for.

Remember: perfectionism lives for validation and never tolerates growth through imperfection.

Perfectionism convinces you that starting something could expose flaws, mistakes, or the possibility of failure. So instead of taking the risk of doing something imperfectly, you delay (procrastinate).

It’s like this: if you don’t start, you can’t fail. If you don’t finish, no one can judge. If you don’t publish, your work can stay "perfect" in your head.

So perfectionists avoid action because action could reveal imperfection.

But is the idea of perfectionism worth more than your dream?

Yes, you can share something imperfect. And yes, it might break the illusions you've been living under. Your "pink glasses"—the way you protect yourself, the self-narrative you hold—might shatter along with your work. And perfectionism will whisper to you: "It's the end."

But here's the thing: you can absolutely coexist with this fear of imperfection. You can move forward despite it and, in some cases, even along with it. Because perfectionism is lying to you, it's not the end. It's a true beginning.

Allowing Imperfection Is The Cure

So how do you fight back against this quiet fear disguised as “high standards”?

You move. That’s it. You take the first step and let imperfection slip out into the world, be it your messy draft, your half-formed idea, or your shaky attempt. You face the critique, the silence, and the misunderstanding. And you do it again tomorrow.

That’s how resilience (adaptability) is built. Not by hiding in the comfort of "someday when it’s perfect," but by showing up in your imperfect now.

The faster you face reality, the faster you'll learn to readapt and grow towards your dreams and ideas.

The paradox is this: perfectionism will break you because it refuses to bend. Imperfection, though? That’s what keeps you alive. That’s what keeps you moving.

But wait, is it really that simple? Yeah, and shockingly so. It starts with debunking the illusion that sits at the core of perfectionism, but the hardest part is making the decision to step away from your perfectionist ideas and finally take that first step towards your dream.

If you keep believing that procrastination is laziness and perfectionism is high standards, you will keep stalling. And life doesn't wait for us. The only way not to be left behind is to step forward. Imperfectly. Repeatedly.

Because the truth is:

Progress doesn’t belong to the perfect. It belongs to the brave enough to be imperfect.