Joke Is When Everyone Is Laughing. The Rest Is Bullying!
It always starts as joke till someone’s feelings get hurt.
I know, humor is much needed and highly appreciated thing in our society. But the problem with it is that so many people use it as a weapon of verbal attacks against other people.
To me, it looks like stabbing someone in the back and then trying to convince the court that it was just a joke.
Well, it is not my problem that that someone does not have a sense of humor.
There are countless reasons as to why it happens. One of them is unwillingness to take responsibility for actions and words since there is no law regulating humor in our society.
It is too complicated and let’s be honest, so many people just do not care.
But it does not make it okay.
When humor becomes a problem…
A joke is a display of humor.
A bad joke is a display of ignorance and contempt.
The problem starts when people choose to dress their negative and at times even violent attitude to something or someone up with the fancy word ‘humor.’
It is their way to keep waffle ears of a cutie on the hellish head of a bully.
Because jokes that hurt someone’s feelings are a form of bullying.
Oh, these jokes!
I have always been extremely tolerant to people’s ways. Life does not come with a guideline, I knew, and so it seemed logica that some people while searching for their path make mistakes and accidently hurt feelings of other people.
But what we are talking about here is different.
And nothing about it is accidental.
Because it happens all the time.
Someone had a lovely habit to come in my house and throw shameless jokes as if those were that person’s mercy.
Each time those jokes caused a disturbing ripple down the smooth waters of my mind.
‘You have a sick look,’ the person would say, pointing a finger out to my deprived of sleep and life face. And then, as a thunder against clear sky, the joke, ‘better go and find a boyfriend now cause it seems like you are aging too fast.’
A laugh then followed.
I see no humor here, do you?
What I see here is ignorance, impudence, and absolute stupidity.
When I was feeding my kitty that does not eat till you tell kind words of love and appreciation to him (yes, my boy is that spoiled), I heard another ‘joke.’
‘Kiss the thing in the ass, shall you?’ another laugh.
What the hell!?
For many years, I had no idea how to deal with that toxic behavior of self-proclaimed jokers. I boiled with anger and disdain and yet, I could say anything.
I did not want to be like that person and offend using the ‘joke’ reference. But I also could not stay silent about it anymore.
How can you protect yourself from this kind of bullying?
You cannot see it but I am actually smiling right now because after so many years, I finally have the answer as to how to handle jokers of this sort with masterful grace.
Take the wheel
If you think about it, all those ‘jokes’ have logical error and this is the thing you have to focus your attention on.
Try to step aside and learn not to take those jokes personally.
When someone throws a toxic joke your way, do not let it slip by as the jokers hope you will.
And turn your close attention to it.
Ask, the joker what he or she really wants to say by that.
Then nicely explain why he or she has no right to touch your personal life in such a disgraceful way.
It will cause a disturbing feeling in the gut of a joker because they are not the people who have gut to speak openly about what they really have in mind.
As clouds are afraid of sun, they are afraid of taking responsibility for their words and actions preferring to hide behind their dumb jokes.
But from now on, they are not going to get away with it.
Show the jokers that you are not going to tolerate their broken (toxic) sense of humor.
Show the jokers that if they do not stop bullying you, you will shove them out of your life.
Show the jokers that you know that you deserve better.
Be polite and emphatic with your statements.
And if you suddenly feel uncertainty of any kind and nature,
You have the right to protect your feelings!
You have the right to clarify the meaning of what other people tell you.
You have the right to speak out when you feel that your personal boundaries are shamelessly violated.
You have the right to shield yourself from any kind of bullying.
And no, none of the things I have listed above make you a bad person.
They make you honest and respectful to your and other people’s lives.
Because you have the right to live in harmony and peace with yourself and people around you.