5 spheres of personality that shape YOUR confidence

If you were an apple, there would be a need for two halves to make you whole. Well, in the case of us humans, two halves would not be enough to form your naturally multifaceted personality and complete a healthy balance to your cooperation with the outside world.

What do I mean by that? In my previous post I wrote about self-acceptance and its importance in acquiring solid ground for personal growth and development. I stressed that self-acceptance is not a one-time thing you can get once and for all but rather a journey of awareness where each time you learn better.

Well, these 5 spheres that lie at the base of shaping the understanding of your worthiness as an individual in the society are responsible for not only sharpening your awareness, which improves your self-acceptance, but also straightening your confidence. 

After all, confidence, first and foremost, is an understanding of your worth. So let’s jump right to the business.

Here are 5 spheres of your personality to consider before shaping your confidence.

1. Intelligence (How smart, IQ-ed, wise you think you are?)

There are too many people thinking they’re not smart enough to get into high-ranked universities or get higher-paying jobs or better lives as a result. Some people are chasing ghosts by thinking that intelligent (smart) people are those who quote Shakespeare, understand the philosophy of Freud, and speak foreign languages.

Whatever it is, "intelligence" is too big of a word to be crumpled into such a narrow, overestimated definition. If you’ve always been thinking that you’re not as smart as your classmates, boss, or friends, most likely, you underrate your own intellectual abilities.

Howard Gardner points out at least 9 types of intelligence:

• Linguistic Intelligence—sensitivity to spoken and written language; strong in reading, writing, storytelling, etc.
  Example: writers, poets, speakers.

• Logical-Mathematical Intelligence—ability to analyze problems logically, perform mathematical operations, and investigate issues scientifically.
  Example: scientists, mathematicians.

• Musical Intelligence—skill in performance, composition, and appreciation of musical patterns.
  Example: musicians, composers.

• Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence—using one’s whole body or parts of the body to solve problems or create products.
  Example: dancers, athletes, surgeons.

• Spatial Intelligence—ability to think in three dimensions; strong visual memory and spatial judgment.
  Example: architects, artists, pilots.

• Interpersonal Intelligence—capacity to understand and interact effectively with others.
  Example: teachers, therapists, leaders.

• Intrapersonal Intelligence—capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings and to use such knowledge in planning and direction.
  Example: philosophers, writers, psychologists.

• Naturalistic Intelligence—ability to identify, classify, and understand elements of the natural world.
  Example: botanists, environmentalists, farmers.

• Existential Intelligence (proposed, not officially confirmed)—sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why we die, and how we got here.
  Example: theologians, philosophers, deep thinkers.

Those who can do math are not necessarily smarter than those who can grow trees. If each of us were sharing only one type of intelligence, do you think we would have such a varied world to live in? Hm…

2. Beauty (How satisfied and comfortable and aware of your appearance you are?)

The beauty industry is thriving today, bringing in new trends each season, showing us the perfect, photoshopped models, and kind of teaching us fashion. Yet, most of us are getting rather confused than taught about anything, right?

All because of this irrational habit of comparing ourselves to people on screens and the blind desire to be like someone else, our chances of truly seeing ourselves grow so small that some of us end up in surgery rooms, fixing the so-called "inconveniences of nature" just to resemble someone else.

Did you ever have a feeling that your body is somewhat wrong? Did you feel like wishing to leave it behind and step into someone else’s? That’s it—a gap in one of 5 spheres of your personality—beauty. I bet if I ask what color your eyes are, you’ll frown and take an extra minute to give an answer. All because you don’t know your beauty YET.

3. Personality (Are you a person of feast or doom?)

There are those who rule the world and those who create it. Rulers usually have this bright, sparkling, enthusiastic, active, hard-to-miss character, whereas those who create it are quiet, thoughtful, and at times even gloom-minded.

When rulers float above the waters, creators are building the depth underneath.

You can’t say that one is better than the other, just because this would be unfair. Creators and rulers—they exist in a good alliance that makes the world we know today possible. Unfortunately, when we have a gap in this sphere, when we don’t know whether we’re rulers or creators, we tend to feel disabled and at times even out of place.

But here is the deal. A personality package always comes with cons and pros, but most of the time, we’re wishing to have ultimate pros only. So, it’s extremely important to know what league you’re in so you can investigate all aspects of your personality and learn to make the best out of it.

4. Achievements (What have you accomplished in your professional/academic/personal life?)

You’d be surprised to know how often we neglect to remember all achievements, small and big, in our lives. Honestly, in the fast-paced world we live in, it’s rather easy to do. Each day we search for new mountains to conquer, and that’s okay, but what is not okay is to leave a gap in acknowledgement of our accomplishments in life. Each win, even a trifle one like making your first job interview, is important to remember.

5. Zest (Something unique about you as an individual.)

It can be anything and it can be everything—the constellation of freckles on both of your cheeks, a gap in your front teeth, the way your smile lifts your cheeks up, the way you brush your nose with a thump each time you get nervous or scared, even the sound of your laugh.

It can be physical and mental uniqueness that you possess. Your big heart, your ability to sympathize and support, and your sadness and love for books—these all can be your list of zests.

And what I personally find rather sad is that most of us are unconsciously ashamed of these things. This confusing thing of us wanting to be special and, at the same time, fighting our natural uniqueness by leaving this fifth sphere of our personality in complete darkness.

Recommended actions:

Now that you understand where the roots of your confidence—or lack of it—come from, it’s time to brainstorm your past. Try to find 10 things to fill in each of the 5 spheres we’ve talked about above. The task can take days, sometimes even weeks, but I promise it’ll be worth the effort.

Write down 10 positive things about your beauty and personality. What are your achievements? And sure, you have at least ten of them. Try to remember even the smallest ones, like earning your first money or overcoming fear of public performance for the first time—anything.

Check out 9 types of intelligence by Howard Gardner to understand yours, and then try to write at least 10 positive things about it.

And the most fun sphere to brainstorm about, in my opinion, is the 5th one—your zests. How can it not be if what you’re going to do is search for unique things about YOU? Find as well at least 10 zests, physical or mental, and write them all down.

Now, each time you feel like forgetting why you’re smart, or beautiful, or unique, take your notes and read them aloud a few times. Remind yourself about all the things you already have. Keep filling your 5 spheres of personality list each time you remember or find something new about yourself. 

And remember —

Confident people are those who each time, walking outside, know the color of their underwear and shoes.