5 spheres of personality that shape YOUR confidence
If you were an apple, there would be needed two halves to make you whole. Well, in case with us, humans, two halves would not be enough to form your naturally multisided personality and complete a healthy balance to your cooperation with the outside world.
What I mean by that? In my previous post I wrote about self-acceptance and its importance in acquiring solid ground for personal growth and development. I stressed that self-acceptance is not one-time thing you can get once and for all but rather a journey of awareness where each time you learn better.
Well, these 5 spheres that lie in the base of shaping the understanding of your worthiness as an individual in the society, are responsible for not only sharpening your awareness, which improves your self-acceptance, but also straightening your confidence.
After all, confidence, first and foremost, is an understanding of your worth. So let’s jump right to the business.
Here are 5 spheres of your personality to consider before shaping your confidence.
1. Intelligence (How smart, IQ-ed, wise you think you are?)
There are too much people, thinking they’re not smart enough to get in high-ranked universities or get higher paid jobs or better lives as a result. Some of people are chasing ghosts by thinking that intelligent (smart) people are those who quote Shakespeare, understand philosophy of Freud and speak foreign languages.
Whatever it is, intelligence is too big of a word to be crumpled into such narrow, overestimated definition. If you’ve always been thinking that you’re not as smart as your class mates or boss or friend, most likely, you underrate your own intellectual abilities.
Howard Gardner points out at least 9 types of intelligence (you can read all about it here).
Those who can do math are not necessary smarter than those who can grow trees. If each of us was sharing only one type of intelligence, do you think we had such a variation full world to live? Hm…
2. Beauty (How satisfied and comfortable and aware of your appearance you are?)
Beauty industry is thriving today, bringing in new trends each season, showing us the perfect, skin-fotoshoped models and kind of teaching us fashion. Yet, most of us are rather getting confused than taught about anything, right?
All because, irrational comparing ourselves to people from screen and blind desire to be like someone out there make our chances to see our true self so low, that some of us end up in surgery rooms fixing the ‘inconveniences of nature’, so to look like someone else.
Did you ever have a feeling that your body is somewhat wrong? Did you feel like wishing to leave it behind and step in someone else’s? That’s it — a gap in one of 5 spheres of your personality — beauty. I bet, if I ask what color your eyes are, you’ll frown and take an extra minute to give an answer. All because you don’t know your beauty YET.
3. Personality (Are you a person of feast or doom?)
There are those who rule the world and those who create it. Rulers usually have this bright, sparkling, enthusiastic, active, hard to miss character whereas those who create it are quiet, thoughtful and at times even gloom-minded. When rulers float above the waters, creators are building the depth of it underneath.
You can’t say that one is better than the other, just because this would be unfair. Creators and Rulers — they are existing in a good alliance that makes the world we know today possible. Unfortunately, when we have a gap in this sphere, when we don’t know whether we’re rulers or creators, we tend to feel disabled and at times even out of place.
But here is the deal. Personality package always comes with cons and pros, but most of the time, we’re wishing to have ultimate pros only. So, it’s extremely important to know what league you’re, so you could investigate all aspect of your personality and learn to make the best out of it.
4. Achievements (What have you accomplished in your professional/academic/personal life?)
You’d be surprised to know how often we neglect to remember all, small and big, achievements in our lives. Honestly, in fast-pacing world we live, it’s rather easy to do. Each day we search new mountains to conquer and that’s okay, but what is not okay is to leave a gap in acknowledgement of our accomplishments in life. Each win, even a trifle one like making your first job interview is important to remember.
5. Zest (Something unique about you as an individual.)
It can be anything and it can be everything — the constellation of freckles on both of your cheeks, a gap in front teeth, the way your smile lifts your cheeks up, the way you brush your nose with a thump each time you get nervous or scared, even the sound of your laugh.
It can be physical and mental uniqueness that you possess. Your big heart, your ability to sympathize and support, your sadness and love for books — these all can be your list of zests.
And what I personally find rather sad is that most of us are unconsciously ashamed of these things. This confusing thing of us wanting to be special and at the same time, fighting our natural uniqueness by leaving this fifth sphere of our personality in complete darkness.
Well, now when you know where legs of your confidence or lack of so grow, it’s time to brainstorm your past. Try to find 10 things to fill in each of 5 spheres, we’ve talked about above. The task can take days, sometimes even weeks, but I promise it’ll be worthy of your effort.
Write down 10 positive things about your beauty and personality. What are your achievements? And sure, you have at least ten of them. Try to remember even smallest ones like earning your first money or overcoming fear of public performance for the first time, anything.
Check out 9 types of intelligence by Howard Gardner to understand yours and then try to write at least 10 positive things about it.
And the most fun sphere to brainstorm about, in my opinion is the 5’th one — your zests. How cannot it be, if what you’re going to do is search for unique things about YOU. Find as well at least 10 zests, physical or mental, and write them all down.
Now, each time, you feel like forgetting why you’re smart, or beautiful, or unique, take your notes and read them aloud a few times. Remind yourself about all the things you already have. Keep filling your 5 speheres of personality list each time you remember or find something new about yourself.
And remember —
Confident people are those who each time, walking outside, know the color of their underwear and shoes.